How many photos do you have of yourself? Just you? How many do you have with your kids? How many family photos do you have? Do you take photos often? Do you secretly wish your Husband took more photos of you or thought to do so without you asking?
Once you have a photo of you, your kids and yourself, or a posed family photo do you critique yourself over the smallest thing? Do you wish you smiled differently or chose a different outfit. My favorite is when my entire body is hidden behind one or two of the kids and all you see if my head and neck … I will admit that I don’t exactly love having my photo taken but I always want updated photos or proof that I put myself together that day. I spend so much time getting everyone else ready and myself that I’ll snap a photo of the kids doing something cute or getting along (we all know that doesn’t happen every day. ) but after an outing I look back and there isn’t one photo with me in. Yet my Husband is in over half of them. Can you relate?
I do photography as a hobby and I shoot for some seriously adorable families and I LOVE it. Part of my job when I do that is to pose them or (my favorite) capture candid moments, the other part is to edit those photos after and make sure that they look as perfect as I can get them. So sadly I do have to critique them, otherwise my clients would get awful looking photos! But doing photography has taught me something … well it has helped me find a way to not put so much pressure on myself. Which is something I know almost every single one of you Moms do to yourself! STOP!
My Daughter asked to take a picture of me the other day and I reluctantly agreed. This is what she took. We just moved into our house and there is lots of work to do, I am a day passed needing a shower and I felt like a mess. I didn’t look at the photo right away, I stumbled onto it later that night when I was looking for a photo to show my Husband of the kids. I stopped when I saw this and immediately went to delete it! Would’t you? I mean … who needs a photo of just you? But something kept me from deleting it! I realized that I should be confident in myself and be proud of all the work I have done to help us get into our new house. I shouldn’t be criticizing myself over how messy my hair is or how exhausted I felt when this photo was taken. I should be proud of that fact that I am wearing shorts for the FIRST time in my adult life. Why you ask? (Okay, maybe you didn’t ask, but I’m going to tell you anyways.) I am a redhead and I am pale (big surprise) and I got made fun of my entire life because I was so pale. “Why don’t you wear some SPF Jen” or “Maybe you should got tanning, it would help you know.” The getting picked on started when I was young and it still happens today, however I have thicker skin now days. It happened within my own family, my friends, strangers … you name it. It hurt and it does still bother me but I have children (2 with red hair and 1 with blonde hair) that are fair skinned and it look me becoming a Mom to be comfortable in my own skin. It took marrying my Husband for me to be confident in my own skin.
How do you become more confident?
- Listen to your Husband/Spouse/Partner and believe them when they tell you that you are beautiful.
- Stop judging yourself in the mirror.
- Stop criticizing every little blemish you see in a photo.
- Wear an outfit out of your comfort zone and rock it!
- Do something for YOU: color your hair, get your nails done, get a massage once a month.
- Take time to get ready, being put together in the morning may not seem important but it will truly make you feel more confident when getting everyone else ready for the day or dropping the kids off at school.
- Have friends that support you and are honest with you. (Fake friends help with nothing.)
- Ask a stranger to get a family photo when you are out and about with the kids. Don’t feel bad and don’t worry if everyone is looking in opposite directions.
- Think positively. Always.
- Most importantly: Be confident.
Don’t feel guilty doing these things and start right now. Mom’s hold families together. Mom’s do so many jobs during the day and just because all those kids are in bed doesn’t mean your Mom brain shuts off. You matter, don’t ever forget that!