Here is a fabulous post from Megan from www.meganslifewithlittles.com and it couldn’t be more on point.
Go on and read for yourself! Be sure to show her some love and visit her blog!
Is Mom Guilt Affecting Your Happiness?
Ah, the dreaded emotion of all moms…mommy guilt. Every single mom out there knows all about the mom guilt. Even the perfectly perky moms who have everything precisely together. At. All. Times. Yes, even her.
There are a few ways that you can beat the mom guilt and learn to embrace it instead. You don’t always have to dwell on the part where you feel guilty. That’s easier said that done, but it doesn’t benefit you or your child. It affects our happiness and overall well being. Focusing on negative emotions and what we could have done better, will only eat away at your overall merriment and contentment.
- You need to know that your child is safe
It’s so easy to feel mom guilt when your kid is in their highchair or playpen and you decide to do something else for a minute. You feel like a bad mom for not eating the full length of a meal with your child. Instead, you choose to, oh I don’t know, go pee or throw in laundry! Embrace the fact that you are a great mom because you knew that they were safe for a few minutes. because they are in their highchair or playpen. That is a positive action that you did there! You waited until they were safe before you walked away, so kudos! There are plenty of times I feel guilty for not eating the whole meal at the table with my toddler. I have to remind myself, it’s ok…she was content. A Mother Far From Home explains that she thought she was screwing them up. That is such a normal thought that we have, but we don’t need to feel that way.
I unloaded the dishwasher instead of eating our full meal together #sometimesjustembraceit
- Mommy self care is crucial
There are so many times that we feel mom guilt that it starts to slowly chip away at our overall well being. Your number 1 priority other than your child, is to take care of their mother. Don’t feel bad if you have to walk away for a minute and let your adrenaline calm down. That is, as long as you know they are safe. Giving yourself an adult time out if you are feeling overwhelmed by your child’s whining, constant crying or fighting with siblings. This is a great practice of self care for you. Taking a breather helps bring you back to center, and will ground you. This is such a great contributor to a healthy atmosphere for everyone. We don’t want your stress level day for the day being too high.
Having hobbies for yourself is important too. That way, you are a happier more joyous person and that portrays to your little one. Hobbies help with self care because it is a way to unwind and focus on something that makes you feel warm and cozy.
Oh, and make sure you are remembering to eat. When you feed your kids, you eat too. Not at every single snack time for the kids, but for meals. This will help ward off some headaches too.
- We are aiding in their development
I have head time after time, that it is crucial for a child’s development that they learn some things on their own. For example, during their independent play, they will teach themselves about how certain objects look and feel etc… So, you should not feel guilty if you are not on the floor playing blocks with them 24/7. Or if you aren’t 100% engaged in playtime during their bath. I like my little one to explore on her own a little bit. So, if I am looking through mail or making dinner, I don’t worry about her playing by herself in the living room. I might feel a little bad when she keeps coming up to me with a book, but I redirect her to something else. OR, I show her how I am cooking and engage with her that way. Then, I don’t feel guilt that I didn’t read her that book at that very second.
Feeling mom guilt is such a common emotion, but just remember to try an embrace the situation. You are the best mommy you know how to be, and you are not doing anything wrong.
Please comment below at tell me about your mom guilt. I would love to talk about it!