I have been blessed with three healthy children and am currently pregnant with my fourth child. I have two girls and one boy; and we just found out that we are expecting another girl! Each one of my pregnancies have been different from the one before it, this one being the worst. I am beyond grateful that I am a Mother, a small part of me thought that because I wanted children one day I wouldn’t be able too. Well I have a crazy busy house, especially during the school year, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
So you might be wondering why I’m talking about hating pregnancy? Well … there is one thing that has happened with each pregnancy that I normally would never admit to a stranger let alone someone I know … I didn’t just dislike being pregnant, I hated it. But I have good reason too and here is why.
8 Reasons it’s okay to HATE being Pregnant:
- Morning Sickness
- Morning “all day” Sickness is a real thing, it’s called hyperemesis and it is about as real as you throwing up over the stupidest smell in the world. Whether it happened to you in the actual morning or at night or maybe, like myself, throughout your entire day. Try getting your kids up and ready for school yet having to run to the bathroom to puke but try and act like you are fine in front of them. You could try making dinner and feeling so sick you can’t even smell a box of mac and cheese. (Seriously) Or my personal favorite finally having an appetite and getting the food you were wanting, yet only have it ruined by whatever sickness you’d like to call it because your body simply did not want it. (What?)
- Not being able to Sleep
- Whether it hits you early on in your pregnancy or in the middle or maybe at the end … or maybe you’re lucky enough where you never have trouble sleeping. (Ha, we are no longer friends.) It’s awful! I run around with three kids, carting them to school and activities, making dinner, cleaning the house, trying to find time to take a shower, and more endless errands yet I can’t sleep at night. “But can’t you find time to nap during the day?” Ha! If I did, it would have to be when the toddler is sleeping and by the time I fall asleep the bus is here, but it’s a nice thought.
- Pain and Discomfort
- Straight up body aches; pain in your legs, arms, boobs, pelvis. The weight of your uterus growing is ridiculously heavy and uncomfortable. I am a relatively small person and being this is my fourth child, you would think that I would know what it is going to feel like to grow a human. Well … the last one was completely different than the two before it. She was low and I mean so low that my water broke two weeks early. This time around my boobs are huge and although I did finally pop a baby bump, this baby is low and I am beyond uncomfortable. (I am only half way through this pregnancy.)
- Having to Pee … every 10 minutes
- I love feeling the baby move and being able to have that magical bond, and yes I am being serious. But you know what I don’t love? Having to pee more times than I already pee. (which is a lot) If I sit too long and then get up, I have to pee and then go again in 5 minutes. If I stand too long, I have to pee. If I drink the right amount of water for the day, I have to pee. If I don’t drink enough that day, I have to pee. I mean … it really never ends. And can we please talk about the kicking on my bladder? Please kick the opposite direction.
- I would like to think that I “have it down” in a sense because this is my fourth pregnancy. However, you never really do. I cry over nothing. I get upset over something simple. I over-analyze things and I get overwhelmed so easily. It is definitely not the ‘normal’ me!
- I use to pride myself on the impeccable memory and ability to multi-task that I have. Yet this pregnancy … I cannot form a sentence and be typing or even thinking at the same time. It simply just isn’t possible. I will be trying to explain something and I can’t form the words I need to… in order to sounds like a human who isn’t drunk. I mean … ah!
- I saved clothes from my last pregnancy and yet I have nothing that fits me. My boobs are either too big or my belly hasn’t grown enough yet, so I just look like I’m wearing my Husbands’ XXL shirts in public. Pants … ha! YOGA PANTS people! Plus, why are they so expensive? No one has money for that kind of thing. Especially when this is my last pregnancy, so I find it difficult to spend money on something I will never wear again.
- Being exhausted
- Bending over. Standing up. Trying to eat something healthy or eat in general, no matter what it may be. Trying to find a balance of taking care of the kids and making sure I drink enough water. Trying to have a relationship with friends and family. Trying to rest and let my body grow this amazing human I created. Simply being exhausted from doing the dishes or cooking dinner.
How can I complain?
I have a REALLY difficult time saying these things out loud … because there are millions of women who struggle every day to conceive a child. To carry a full term pregnancy. To adopt a child. To be a Mother. Yet here I am complaining because I am tired and throwing up and having a rough time. But you know what … as much as I know those things and as much as I have women close to me who have suffered, they too understand how truly difficult it is some days.
It is OKAY to have a rough day.
It is OKAY to complain on my 48thday of throwing up every morning.
It is OKAY to let someone know that I am in pain and it truly hurts.
It is OKAY that I cannot cook dinner without getting sick from the smell of a spice.
It is OKAY to take a nap at 1pm.
It is OKAY that my house looks like a toy bomb went off in it.
It is OKAY that my laundry is clean … yet none of it is folded.
It is OKAY that I sit in the car when I pick up my kids from the bus.
It is OKAY to have a lazy day and watch movies together.
It is OKAY to cry and feel relief.
It is OKAY to not shower for a few days and … not care.
But it is also OKAY to ASK FOR HELP.
It is OKAY to need to be taken care of.
It is OKAY to let someone feed your kids.
It is OKAY to let someone fold your laundry.
It is OKAY to let yourself REST.
I am beyond excited to welcome another child and I will be 100% honest … I am also extremely terrified. I have no idea how I will juggle 4 … FOUR kids. But I know that I will adjust and my family will be complete.
You have to believe in yourself. You have to let go of whatever idea you had that this would be and just accept it. Funny story … well not really … but when I was pregnant with my first daughter, I was walking into Target late at night. I was in my sweat pants, because that was the only thing that fit. I had a huge belly and my face was screaming “I’m pregnant” because well … I was 8 months pregnant. Well this woman was walking out of Target. She was wearing these skinny jeans, super cute top, and high heels. She had her hair curled and makeup was done. Do you know what else she had …. A pregnant belly. She was pregnant. Yet here I am, a complete hot mess. I was so upset that I turned around and got in my car and went home. I couldn’t do it … I couldn’t handle how sick I was for months growing this baby. Yet … somehow I made it. My oldest is now 7 ½ and she is the best kid a Mom could ask for. It’s all worth it. It truly is.
Cheers to another day. Whether you are expecting or you are done having children. Relax! Take it one day at a time Momma.